If I Don't Come Back... (2)

tell my mom i love her. hahahaha. Okay, a few more moments and i'd be off to defend my country or rather learn how to defend my country. Field camp's starting tmr and it's gonna be the highlight of BMT and i sure hope i'd survive this without needing to report sick or anything.

It's gonna be tough both physically and mentally but it'd be quite an experience, sleeping in tents and holes, putting camo cream on your face everyday, crawling around and stuff. Ahhh i just hope the shagness of it all wont pull me down and turn me selfish or worst still, a raging mad man. It's simply too easy to go into rage mode and getting angry at people who seem so blur and selfish sometimes. Sure hope everyone would cooperate and work together as a platoon so we wouldnt get tekan like crazy and swim in mud pools.

God save us all!

When the Initial Excitement Wears Off...

and all i'm left with are my goals and an integrity to keep intact. Argh. Hopefully these would be enough to keep me motivated. God help me. It's been 5 weeks and i'm getting bugged by this feeling, oh yes it gotta be the feeling of lethargy.

Yeah it's still "fun" and all manly but i guess this dreadful feeling has its way of creeping up on you. It leaves you at a sub-standard, unmotivated state and tempts you to just take the easy way out sometimes. Oh lethargy how i hate you so.

Okay got to pull myself together now and keep giving it my best shot, whatever it takes man. I guess this is the part where it gets mental and high time i get honed in this aspect!

:D

One of the best weekend ever.

Book In Happy, Book Out Happier.

"Book in happy, book out happier". That was my reply to one of my awesome bunkmate when he caught me smiling all the while when we're on the ferry to our "chalet". Haha i think i'm a lil nuts having such positivity but hey, it's a good thing.

Ahh 3 weeks already! I've met all sorts of people in here and it's a huge part funny but frustrating sometimes. Gotta say that the army is the place where your patience is put to the test and how far you'd go to love your neighbors even if they're really hard to love. So far i think i'm failing like crazy lol. Okay. Love more and make fun less.

But on a more serious note, i've gotta look at my intentions on doing things. Even if i'm giving my best, am i doing it just to get to command school or am i obliged to do my best for God? Mmm it's something i have to keep reminding myself, just what is my motivation, my goals and aims or God Himself? Oh may it never be that i give this my best shot just because i wanna get what i want.

Argh and please pray for my throat lol, i'm losing my voice and croaking like a toad every book out. I cant even sing my favorite songs :( Ahhh the consequence of being a timer and "singer" in the company.