B.O.M.G (4)

So the day came. The day God impressed upon my heart. Youth Evangelistic service 29/3/08. I admit i could've prayed more, shared more, encouraged more, fasted more, cried more, love more, yeah i could have done all those but wont it be of my own strength? I've done all that i felt God wanted me to do, but one thing I've done wrong. I forgot all about God's sovereign will, His supreme control over all, His perfect timing and plan, all fogged up by my desire for results.

Street Evangelism was great. We managed to share with lots of youths in Junction 8. But somewhere deep in me was shouting out that it was a failure because we did not manage to get anyone back to the service. Of course i was discouraged and disappointed, I just kept telling the Lord in my heart, "Lord, let there not be an empty altar!" That was the fear that kept hindering me. I really really did not want to see a Evangelistic Service with a empty altar.

It was during worship, i was asking God, "God! why did You put this day in my heart and yet it turned out this way? I thought You're gonna move so mightily!" However i've been thru this before. I know it was no reason for me to be disappointed with God, so i chose surrender. Thank God i've lerant, or else i'll still be in deep frustration.

1 soul was saved. I was the counselor for him and i thank God for such a receptive heart. During dinner, Jasmine spoke to me about today's street e and i told her how i felt. God used her to make it clear to me that i've been desiring results, that's why i was discouraged and disappointed. It was true, as i look upon it now. "I want God to save many people" "I want to see God move so mightily", and more "I wants". Though the desires were right, it became wrong when i forced it upon God's sovereign will. I want to see the results that i've imagined, which may well not be God's plans. I repented.

God did moved in the hearts of His people. I came back to the sanctuary late because i was counseling the new believer and i was immediately pulled into God's presence. I know that God revived the fire in our hearts once again but how long till we let busy schedules and worldly living fog it up? Will we humble themselves and pray and turn away from our worldly ways? Then only will He forgive and heal our land.

"Son, if there is only 1 salvation today will you still believe that I've moved mightily?"

B.O.M.G (3)

Thank God.

I just shared the gospel with a group of secondary school (sec 3) kids who were hanging out at Paya Lebar Community Centre at Kovan. There was a free pool table there and they were there playing. I prayed and wonder what should i do or begin with. Guess it's gonna be that typical questions again but since the group's rather big (around 7 or 8) , i made it into a survey! "So if you were to get involved with an accident tonight, where would you go?".

Haha it was quite funny tho, they were a bunch of easy going kids, "Wah you curse us arh!" lol! However it's the question that will always get people thinking. Then i proceeded with my other questions, like "Do you know who Jesus Christ is?" and "What's your definition of love?". They were a bit distracted tho =( some continued to play pool, some talking on phone and others making fun of me (especially this guy that kept talking back at me haha). However there's always one or two that are listening to me so seriously and keep the others in attention. Thank God for them. I continued to share about God's love and Jesus as a friend that wouldn't leave you forever.

They didn't seem so interested and were getting really impatient. "So any questions?" "Nooooooo..." "Okay so, i can say that all of you want to accept Christ?" *Silence* "Then what's holding you back?" I didn't expect any answer because i just felt that i was just there to invite them for Saturday's Youth Evangelistic service. So i asked that and somehow they were already in a hurry to leave. Then this guy which kept making fun of me and talking back at me asked for my number. I just gave it to him, half expecting him to give me prank calls in the middle of the night.

Well, i was really kinda dejected. So i was just sitting there asking God, "Is this generation worth crying for?". I felt kinda dumb now asking that kind of question because God's answer will always be yes. He loved us so much, that He sent His one and only begotten Son to die for us, how can He not care for this generation? Nevertheless, i was down all the way till i get home.

Then a amazing thing happen, that boy SMSed me! and asked me what time will the service be starting. He said that he will try to come. WOW lol like i was expecting to be prank called or something and now this happened. PRAISE the LORD for such surprises!

Surrendering; Saving the world, one youth at a time.

i finally knew the reason why it was so hard for me to surrender. I wasn't hungry for God enough. I was too easily satisfied with what He had done and what i'm doing for Him. Indeed, i've hardened my heart, to the point that i dont realize that i need that hunger.

i guess i'm a man of hard tears. I just cant cry at my own will, and when i do, i must really thank God because it's always His Spirit moving me. I dont know, maybe there's something wrong with my tear ducts. It often hinders me, it makes me wonder if my heart was really that hardened that i cant even cry out. Oh how i wish that tears will come easy.

So my point of surrender was just plain declaration. No tears, no moans, no groans. Does that mean that it's not genuine? I dont care, because i left everything to faith. Faith in God that He would strengthen me in my convictions and faith in what God promised as He sees faithfulness growing in me as i stick to Him. Thank God really, that it's just as simple as this, no need for hoo-hahs.

29/3 is drawing near. God's gonna do something great! I dont know why but He impressed on me this coming youth evangelistic service. I'm really excited!

Lord, lead me to one (group of. (= ) youth(s) today, everyday, till 29th and beyond!

Would you pick up the cross and surrender your will?

That's what i felt God was asking me for a few weeks now. Surrendering my all. Picking up the cross. What do all these really mean? One thing i'm sure it's no easy task.

I was sadden by my friends as they were so eagerly defending the activity of clubbing. I dont condemn clubbing by itself. However i condemn the harmful activities that may be involved. Drug peddling, dosage, sex hook ups and addiction to drinking are all in the circle of clubbing. Another thing was that i was against Christians especially youths going to clubs because it does not glorify God, not even a single bit. Unless you're Reinhard Bonnke who once stepped into the club and stopped the music and preached a message and everyone repented of their sins and accepted Christ.

As i was walking home i was asking God, how come it's so hard reaching out to them? Will they ever come to accept you? But God just said "Would you give up your all and follow me?" "I'm going to use you but only if you surrender all" And i just cried and wept as i walked home, because i knew my answer was no.

Sometimes, i just wish that God would just take me by force. How i wish He would rob my heart out of it's willfulness and stubbornness. Just where is my true point of surrender?

Lord i lift my friend to You

Lord, I lift my friend to you
I’ve done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to you

Complicated circumstances
Have clouded his view
Lord, I lift my friend up to you

I fear that I won’t have the words
That he needs to hear
I pray for your wisdom, Oh God
And a heart that’s sincere
Lord, I lift my friend up to you
(Casting Crowns, Prayer for a Friend lyrics)

Was the first of the 4 evangelistic service today. My dear friend attended the service today and i'm glad he did. Usually he would refused on the spot but i guess something in him made him come, or probably God put a yearning in his heart. But i thank God that he came anyway, even though he did not accept Christ. Well, i think this song really fits into this situation. I've done all that i could, i prayed, interceed and fasted. The rest is really up to God and His perfect timing. Thats why when my friend asked if i was disappointed at him not accepted i said nope, because i know one day God will show him how needy is he. I just pray that when that day comes, he will not harden his heart. Well praise God a billion times over!

B.O.M.G (2)

WOOHOO! Praise GOD! It's just so overwhelmingly amazing that i just gotta tell the whole world about the absolute amazing-ness of this amazing thing God has done!

It all began in September 2007... God gave me a burden for the youths and i got up and went to spread the Word! Okay i shan't repeat the whole story which is posted here under the 25th of September post. All along i thought i was really dumb by not getting any form of contact from the students i spoke to and all i was left to do was to pray.

Time passed and i was wondering how are they doing? I began to pray that i may get a chance to see them again and to be really encouraged by their growth though i was half expecting that they are not going to church anymore. Well i prayed for a few months and still no chance of seeing them. I admit i kinda stopped praying for that. What God did was truly amazing. He granted me the opportunity to meet one of them.

It was after service at dinner in Bishan. I sat down turned back and i saw this familiar face. It's that guy from Guang Yang Sec! I smiled to him and he smiled back. After that was kinda funny. I gotta first admit that i forgot whether he was among those who accepted Christ whom i have spoken to. Then i recalled "yea! He's in fact the first guy to respond!" And God just played a video of remembering that he was the first to raise up his hand with head bowing down without even the slightest hesitation. Praise God!

But. I was in fear of disappointment. What if he had stopped going to church? What if it was just like a one shot thing to him? I admit i took a little long to decide to walk up to him and said "hi". And it was amazing. I asked how he has been and he said that he's attending church regularly! I then asked him what he has to thank God for in this period of his life. I reassured him that it wasn't a test or a trick question. He answered me that he really thank God for sending his son to die for him and went on about God's amazing love that was lavished on all of us! WHOA PRAISE GOD!

I asked him if he knew the others were doing well or not and he said that the backslided one was now attending church regularly. PRAISE GOD! Then he said that one guy stopped going after the first time there and he was praying for him. He's also attending cell group meetings and bible classes. Total shiokness. I prayed for him and then i went back to my own table to share of God's awesomeness with my life group members.

I really thank God for this. After so long of wondering how they were doing, God answered my prayers and displayed His work in the lives that He has touched. Thoroughly encouraging.

Purpose.

Hmm i've been pondering. What's the purpose of my life now that i know that there is one God and He is alive and that He is mighty to save? The answer from the Holy Spirit was direct and simple. This is the purpose of my life: "To let people know that God has reconciled with the human race through the death of His son Jesus Christ."

Simple as that. I'm glad God gave me this answer or i'll be joining millions of others who question the purpose of their life. Well i know that there are more specific purposes of my life but i've yet to receive any answers yet. But as i continue to ponder and read the Word of God, God illustrated to me what it truly meant to be a Christian in this era, this time, this hour.

"He [Aaron] stood between the living and the dead, and the plague stopped." Numbers 16:48

I dont know how this verse speaks to you but it spoke tons to me. The Israelites were a stiff-necked generation. They never stop complaining even after God has shown them that He is their Lord and God thru so many miracles and works. Whenever something bad comes up they would cry out that they rather have stayed in Egypt.

God's wrath was upon them as a plague. Moses asked Aaron to grab his censer and fill it with incense and hurried to the assembly to make atonement for them. Aaron rushed and ran and stood between the living and the dead [I pictured the plague like a wave and the Israelites like Kallang wave liddat, row by row dropping dead], and he made the atonement and the plague stopped.

The same thing happened to the world. A world which deserved nothing but destruction. But God did not flood the world or sent a world wide plague, He sent His one and only Son as the everlasting atonement. "For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life." Rom 5:10

Jesus stood between the living and the dead. It's our turn to do so. "But what can i do but pray?" It was at this point the Holy Spirit spoke to me in a heavier tone. "Prayer is never the least thing, it is the greatest and most important thing that you must do!".

"All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. " 2 Corinthians 5:18-19.

Reconcile

And so that was the end of the 3 long arduous weeks of studio project. 2 and a half weeks of hard work just kinda went down the drain at presentation when my friend got my Artificial Intelligence code broken. I was kinda devastated on the spot. I could've cried or yell something but i did not. Well, no idea why but i was really moody after that; even after a 2nd presentation of my AI codes by itself.

Spiritually, i kinda hit bottoms. Bed at 3 or 4 am is not helping anything at all. QT is compromised so many times and my relationship with God took the toll. I guess thats why my emotions are getting hold of me and the enemy's having a good time attacking me in every way.

I'm really glad that it's all over. However there's something that i'm more glad about. It's really none other than reconciling with God once again (i'm really glad that i didn't take a long time on this as i would have in the past). It's so good to stand before God once again in His presence just soaking in all the peace and really casting out all the burdens and baggage from the past weeks.

The sermons on both days are great. I must really admit that, yea i know who's the Holy Spirit by God's Word but I have really yet to come intimately close with this third person of the Trinity. On Saturday, i just committed myself to God once again and i told the Holy Spirit that i want to start this journey with Him right now.

"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever" John 14:16

this is going to be so exciting!