Jesus You're my SUPERHERO!

Jesus you're my superhero
You're my star, my best friend
Jesus you're my superhero
You're my star, my best friend

=D lol my cousin's staying with me for a week. At first i thought, aiyah my quiet time's gonna get disrupted again. But thank God not only it's not disrupted but i managed to evangelize to him! He came for the church's children evangelistic meeting and came to know the Lord. I read him Noah's Ark from the Bible. Nope not directly from NIV but from CTKV (Chen Thong Kids Version) lol. Praise the Lord, he understood the story preeetty well.

I really thank God for the work in his little life. He asked me today where is heaven and i said it's something we cannot see now. Then he asked when? i said when we die. lol then he asked how to see when we die? I said that if anyone believes that Jesus is the Son of God, when he die, he will go to heaven. Then he just exclaimed: "I believe!". lol i'm pretty sure that God's working mightily in him with such cute faith!

He's super excited. I'm super excited. We're super excited. Because we just sang Jesus You're my Superhero for a few times and it's just so fun to praise God with him! He's asking me to read him another story tonight and i think i'll be reading Adam and Eve from the CTKV.

New experience.

I should be doing work but i cant get myself into the mood especially i've not done my quiet time yet. Grr school work = /

Saturday was great. Aunty Ruth preached about building a strong foundation upon God's Word. It spoke alot to me because somehow i felt that God already taught me that and the sermon was like a revision to me. At the end of it i just felt committed again to continue to strive in God's Word.

Then it came to Lifegroup. The sharing was great as always, our internal response towards God and His unstoppable love. And then to worship. It was my first time and i felt that i screwed up alot. I kinda messed up big time on some parts because i'm not sure whether to die down or not. But the worst of all was that i kept forgetting to hold up the cords for Jerrold. I felt super guilty for that because he kept signaling to me and i kept forgetting again and again. At one point the music was off because of that. I don't know, even when it came for me to beckon the members to worship, i just felt so uneasy. Overall i felt kinda disappointed at myself even after Jeremy and Jerrold's comforting words.

I dont know. I became kinda down after that. Havta go home early to do some school work and was really glad that there was no one at home when i got back because it means early quiet time. I guess God saw how much disappointment i felt against myself and I was really glad that He pulled me thru it all(like He always does). I guess the most important thing He taught me once again was that it really isn't the result that matters but the journey i went thru. Sanctification, praying for songs, praying for a burden for the lifegroup, worship and praise. The Lord brought me through all that during that couple of weeks and i just felt that indeed it's the journey that really matters. Praise the Lord for this journey and this new experience =D

New.

Hoo~ what a day of packing. 2 more weeks and i'll be off to Pungol! Hmm am i looking forward? YES and a lil no. Yes because everything's gonna be new! New bed, new TV, new sofa, new everything! A lil no because the traveling time to anywhere will be 2 times longer = / But thats ok! I'll counter that with books and more mp3s.

But the one thing i'm super looking forward to is definitely having the whole room to myself! No more public computer in my room! Which also means earlier and more private quiet time! No more QTs past midnights! Ahh that'd be great man, guess i wont be waking up in the morning and find myself sleeping on my Bible anymore.

Okay now i'm super excited again thinking bout all the new changes. While packing stuff, we were (my dad and i) talking bout the bad people in the world. People who are unjust towards others just because they held authority or wealth and such. My dad threw me a question: "Wouldn't you think it's good to have a big war and wipe everything out and we can all start out again?" Lots of biblical stuff went thru my head but i decided not to say anything but give my signature sheepish laugh. I know he's asking me to voice a Christian view to it but i dont know why i didn't say anything.

Looking back, I probably would've said: "Yeap something like that would happen in the future. During what we call the Great Tribulation and at it's climax there will be the final battle "Armageddon", satan vs God and we already know whose gonna win. And after that God's gonna make everything new again."

He who was seated on the throne said, "I'm making everything new!" Rev 21:5

Search.

Yes. I finally got back to reading books. I guess all of a sudden computer games just stopped amusing me. Probably God's helping me to redeem my time and yes i thank God for that. First off i'm finally done with Wai Yin's 3 books and all i can say is they're really great and helped heaps (no. i didn't read all 3 in 1 go. i just managed to kick myself into finishing the last one =D) I started with Rachel's Tears which was about a girl who died during the Columbine High School Shootings. Not just any other girl, but a girl who knew God so intimately that even at her last breadth, she did not deny that shes a Christian. Tells me what Christianity is, at its very basic, Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your strength.

The second book was about God's nature. It was wonderful timing because at then i was wondering what the holy Trinity is, lots of facts and truths that helped me understand what 0.000000000001% of who God truly is. But i guess we can never fathom all of God's ways so 0.0000000000001% is still quite a huge number =0

The third and last book which i've just finished reading bout a week ago was A Glimpse Into Glory, a biography of Kathryn Kulhman. It was simply amazing tho i must really admit the tone was kinda strong in some kind of way. But her healing ministry just simply amazed me. This book and the book i'm currently reading (Wigglesworth, the complete story) just made me feel how God could really work thru someone to bring such powerful spiritual manifestations to the people out there.

I dont know but it just makes me look at the life i'm living now. I cant even be constantly be on fire for God. It just keeps fluctuating up and down, up and down like a wave. Committing my life and trust in Him today and doubt Him the very next day, bahh just like the man who is like the wave and yes he should not think he will receive anything from the Lord. But still looking at all my weaknesses, God dosen't give up on me and still managed to use me in some small ways and i thank Him for that. I'm not satisfied with what i am at now, i guess the search for God's heart goes on, in His Words and Works. One more plate of self-discipline please!

Waves ~

If i were to plot out my spiritual life on a piece of graph paper i guess it will look like a really wavy graph with lots of parabolas. I dont know but i just became so sick and tired of this kind of life. Sometimes i'm so high in praises on mountains speaking with God as if face to face, yet on other days of the week i can fall so deep down right into the valley of death.

Last week was a week where i reached the highest and yet also the lowest. In the beginning of the week i was so high up, never have i felt so broken and on fire and i began pleading to God that His Spirit may manifest in me so strongly. All until Tuesday. As i came before the Lord, i just dont know why i cant feel His presence at all. The next 2 days felt like i was in a spiritual desert, didn't even felt like doing my quiet time and all. It was really the lowest i've ever felt.

Bahh dont feel like describing it anymore but at the very end i just saw myself at the Y junction, the path that leads to the world and the other to God. Friday was a day of reconciliation and i was really glad that i was delivered and put back on the right track =D

Is my foundation strong?

It's been quite a whirlwind thru these 8 months ever since i came to know the Lord. So many things changed ever since and still are changing. The thing is, i felt that everything's going too fast. Have i learnt all that the Lord wants me to learn in this season? Have i missed out anything? I guess that's why God asked me this question, "Is my foundation strong?". I took weeks to think about this and today i dare to say to the Lord that, "Yes my foundation is strong, because my foundation is You Lord."

Probably it was because i felt that God is giving me a crash course thru everything. From who He is, repentance, fasting, evangelism, crying, reading of His word, praying, there's just so many things He brought me through. I on the other hand just felt like a little kid piled up with lots of presents from his father.

As i see people backsliding in the lifegroup i realize that "hey, i might end up like one of them someday". Not that i want to but i guess everyone faces trials and temptations. If my foundation is not strong i'll probably just fade away too. I dont know it'd probably like that little kid throwing all the precious presents away and running after something else.

So who is this little kid to receive all that was given to him? What makes him worthy in his father's eyes? Was he so greedy that he just kept asking his father for more? Who is he to his father?

It's never about this little kid. It's all about Father. It's all about Jesus.

i know the sins that i carry are forgiven,
i know the times spent on my knees are not wasted,
i know the tears i cried are bottled and kept,
i know the my prayers are heard,
i know the things of the future is is Your hands,
i know, i know because You are my Lord,
and i want my life to be all about You.

Truly, truly it's all about Jesus.

It's all about JESUS

Man, i guess things are easier when you trust God. I'm suppose to select a song for the next life group meeting and I was wondering what to choose from because i dont really have tons of worship songs in my library. Was hoping that God would speak to me about what song to choose as i read and did week 2 day 1 of Experiencing God Together. Ehh God spoke but not related to this so yea never mind because i still have 1 week more to pray.

Hmmm i dont know but as i woke up the next day i just started to remember a song.

It's all about Jesus
It's all about the way he changed our lives
It's all about Jesus
The power of his blood can't be denied
It's all about Jesus
It's all about the convenant he made
It's all about Jesus
Victorious he rose up from the grave

We lift our hearts to him
He is the reason that we sing
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
We praise your name

It's all about Jesus
It's all about the way he set us free
It's all about Jesus
Bearing all our sins at Calvary
It's all about Jesus
It's all about the gift of love he gave
It's all about Jesus
The precious lamb of God was slain

Okay. I didn't remember the whole song i just remembered the starting tune and the verse "It's all about Jesus" (which was only the first verse. lol). Thank God the song title was just that and i found out it was sung by Planet Shakers. I think we sung this once during a Saturday service and i guess i'm really glad that God made a impression in me of that song. Since i dont have this song i have to check it out in imeen (or was it imeem?) and managed to hear the whole song =D

Now to the next step: Why this song? Well at least no worries that i cant find a song in my pathetic library (yes. i ought to start buying more CDs) =D

What's worship about?

Was listening to the K-Love Christian radio station ( klove.com) and came across this song which kinda answered my question.

Just a part of the chorus:

i'm going back to a heart of worship,
it's all about you,
it's all about you, Jesus

simple as that. From Him which all goodness derives from. I guess i really must get a heart of worship. Where can i buy one? How much does it cost? Thank God it's all free from the Lord Himself.

I'm quite excited at what i'm gonna learn from the Lord as i get to serve as worship leader for one of life group sessions in November. It's always like that, God always prepares you in some way before you do something new. Like when i fasted for the first few times, "Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." kept popping out of my head and taught me that God's word is above hunger.

I must really say that klove really rocks and i guess i've just found a new music player apart from itunes when i'm doing my work on my lappy. Wow if only i can tune in to the radio station using a local radio. How great would that be?

faith now.

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 21:25

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

I guess that is why we've been called to live by faith and not by sight. Have i seen Jesus in real person? Nope but i know i've encountered Him and i believe that He's seated at the right hand of God right now. Why do i believe? Because i've read it in the Word of God:

"Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied. "But i say to all of you: In the future you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven." Matt 26:64

So thats the truth right there, in the Word of God. I'm really glad that the Lord has placed so much emphasis on the Word in my heart and made my faith based on it. I guess the verse: "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God"Rom 10:17(KJV) really applies.

So just like the wise man who built his house on solid rock, we should build our hopes on the solid Word of God with stones of faith.

faith then.

2 men were talking outside of their houses in the city of Galilee.
Man A: "Hey, I heard that the man called Jesus of Nazareth is here in our town. I heard from my sister that he healed a woman with leprosy down the 8th street!"

Man B: "You heard? I saw the whole thing! He just told the woman that her faith had healed her and off she went well!"

Man A:"WOW then surely i must bring my son who has been sick for days to Him!"

(this is just something that i've imagined up. nope not from the Bible =p)

As i was reading the gospels, i was wondering what faith was like during the days when Jesus walked on earth. I guess it's something like that. The people were able to experience first hand the awesome power and glory of God and His works. What gave them the faith to know that those they brought to Jesus would be healed? Was it something they heard from one another? Was it because of their first hand witness to a healing? Or was it plainly because they believed that Jesus was really the Messiah and that He came as a Prince of Peace to restore and heal?
__________________________________

2 man were standing outside their houses talking..

Man A: "Yesterday my church prayed for a blind believer and he received His sight! Praise the Lord!"

Man B: "Ha! You expect me to believe? Trying to bring me to church arh?" *shuts gate*

Back to school!

Ended my last day of work yesterday morning. Totaled up my pay and was really happy to see that everything's according to plan. Enough for a guitar, parents, family dinner and a couple more hundreds to go and i'll have enough for development fund! The fund raising project is indeed a faith raising project. I remembered what i wrote on my pledge card: "No fear =D" (inclusive of smiley face. I can't believe they pinned my pledge card to the notice board =0). Though it wasn't "No fear =D" all the way but in the end i've come to realize that there is indeed nothing to fear when God is involved in it. *Congratulations! Your faith has risen by 1 level!* *New skill learned: No-Fear-Next-Time*

Really excited to go back to school. I've been thinking about something. What am i gonna be when i grow up? I felt that i might not want to do what i'm studying right now because i do not want to be part of something that makes things that stumbles others. Probably i can create educational games or Christian themed games otherwise i'll probably go a different career path. Well, the future's all in the Lord's hands. Who knows? i might become a missionary or something. lol. But one thing i know, it is to continue to work hard in school to glorify God.

Our course manager spoke to us today bout how students should be. We should have 3 learning skills, listen, seeing and psychomoto. We listen and we see and then we practice or do what we have learned from what we have heard or saw. How similar it is to the attitude we should adopt with the Word of God! We are hearers and readers (it's really a privilege because people in the olden days do not have the canonized bible so they could only hear.) of the Word of God and we must also be do-ers of it.

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." Matt 7:24-27.

Although it's certainly not easy, but one thing i'm sure of, God is with us in the Spirit and He will enable us to be like that wise man whose foundation was rock steady!

Pride.

"Pride is the bane of God's work" -personal revelation

I guess this is really true and I think God is working on this part of my life now. I don't think i'm arrogant of any sort but recently God made me realize that I am prideful in some ways. Like once, one of my fellow senior CLT (Lydia) told me that i had pride and i didn't understand why. I guess pride comes in alot of ways. I was organising a camp and i was really exhausted and wanted to give up planning it because there's just so much trouble to go thru and the IC was a busy person and often asked me to do most of the stuff. Struggled with stress alot and i confided in her. She told me i have pride because even when i have so much work to do i still accepted to help. I was like huh? But i finally understood what it meant. It was all to maintain an image and impression.

Once i told a friend that i preached to a group of strangers and he told me that he felt shameful. Then i decided to not tell anyone at all because i was afraid that it would be like show-off to them. But sometimes it's really hard to keep all this to myself, you preached the Gospel and 3 souls accepted Christ, how can you not burst out with joy? I guess i really came under the deception of the enemy this time because i didn't tell this testimony out so that it will not become a pride. But it became one because i was holding this back to be humble. I didn't realise what a testimony could do until a friend explained to me just now and it sorta like a ending school bell to this part of lesson.

I guess i understand now, surely God always teaches us in some way or another. It's just if we have noticed His work or not. Same goes to my name Benedict (blessed). I can never call myself blessed until i sit down at the end of the day and think of what God did in my lives, the goodness and blessings. It is until then i come to realize that every single day is a blessing from God.

Parents.

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise." Ephsians 6:1 & 2

I really must thank God for His Word. Thanks to these verses i find my relationship with my parents becoming better. I guess theres really power of transformation in His Word. I used to disrespect them alot and some parts of my mind jus didnt really liked them.

They used to look down on me a couple years back calling me useless and all that because every time they see me, they see me on the computer and the times that i studied they did not see. Haha thinking back it's so foolish of me, remembering once i contemplated suicide because my dad called me a useless son. Thanks to someone i manage to come out of that. I was more determined to show them that i ain't useless and studied really hard for my Os. Managed to get a score which was as good as my sis and i guess that kinda shut them and my relatives up. However i was still rebellious and not hesitate to talk back or even shout back. I guess it's all in the past instances that made me this way.

But thank God i'm convicted and now i hold them in reverence. I'm beginning to see that they are changing too, letting me come to church and being so good to me (which i need some time to get used to). I begin to see much more of how they cared for me and their love for me. Praise the Lord for opening my eyes.

I treated my family to Cafe Cartel last night and it was great! Haha i guess it's been quite long since we've been out as a family and i just loved the funny bones we all shared (as in humor, u wont find this dish in their menu =p). I kinda think that dinner signify growth and maturity of me to them and i hope our relationships keep growing. But then again, i'll be earth's most unfilial son if i don't preach the gospel to them, and i hope God will continue to open up opportunities for me to share = D

"When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, He said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son." and to the disciple, "Here is your mother." From that time on, this disciple took her into his home." John 26 & 27

Even near His time of death, amidst all His suffering and pain on the cross, He cared for His earthly mother....

Kids.

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such of these" Matthew 19:14

I think Sunday's service will be going deep down into my head as one of the best service ever. Worship was awesome, not because all the songs we sang were great but because there was a total uplifting of spirits in the church. It's just like living rivers of spirits flowing thru the whole sanctuary. I guess thats the real power of communal worship. You can never experience this torrential feeling worshipping the Lord all by yourself. The worship topped off with "I could sing of Your love forever" and everyone was worshipping like we're all worshipping in heaven, right before the Lord himself! POWER~!

Thinking back that song just held so much truth. If the world has seen the light they will surely be rejoicing like us! For some reason it made me wondered what will it be like when a island wide revival happens in Singapore. Miracles, healings, people turning away from religions, healing of wounded hearts, casting out of demons. Wow. Crusades, evangelistic outreaches, Gospel being preached everywhere. Is this what a revival is like? I dont really know until it really happens here.

Okay going back to Sunday's service. It was a kid's celebration. Seeing the kids worship really encouraged me a lot and it was also great fun. I guess this is what child-liked faith is all about, everything at it's most basic, humblest, plainest, purest and simplest. "Verily i say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." Matt 18:3( KJV. I wondered why they removed the word "verily" in NIVs, probably old english?) . The truth just came alive during Sunday's service.

"Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven" Matt 18:4

GO!

"Go! It will be done just as you believed it would" Matthew 8:13

By that one word his servant was healed. Just by one word? No! It is the FAITH of the Centurion. The story of the faith of the Centurion is an interesting one. Something which i can somehow relate to. A servant of the Centurion was terribly sick and bed-ridden. A centurion was a man of authority, a man of professional officer status in the Roman army. Yet, he is a good master, one who cares of his servants, this is evident when Jesus came to the town of Capernaum and the Centurion asked of Him to heal his servant.

He is also humble something which most men of authority are not. "I do not deserve to have You come under my roof." This clearly shows the submission to the authority of Jesus Christ. Not only he was a humble man, he was also a firm believer, "But say the word, and my servant will be healed." I read on about the authority he held as a centurion, ordering "Go" and his soldiers will go, "Come" and his men will come.

I could some how relate to this because i do have a little authority over the cadets i'm in charge of in NCC. But the faith that he had was something i yet have. Praise the Lord for this story for it spurred me on to be one of firm faith. Not only that it taught me how exactly a leader should be like. A master yet also a servant.

Jesus Wept.

I really must thank God for the journey so far thru His word. It's been quite a change ever since i started reading the Word of God with expectations. Just finished the gospel of John and getting on with Matthew and so far it's been great! It's so much different from the last couple of times i've read the gospel. But then again i guess it is different every time you read the Word of God over and over again. You'll always learn something new.

In John what probably struck me the most this time round was just this 2 words. Jesus wept. Its in John 11:35. Just by this 2 words many questions popped out of my mind. I've always imagined weeping as crying bitterly and now if i imagine Jesus crying bitterly, i cant help but to realize how soft and full of compassion He is. At the first glance, I was like wow, you mean Jesus cried? The more i look at those 2 words the more thoughts came to my mind. Thank God for a couple of personal revelations too.

The second main question was, "Who was Lazarus to Jesus?", "is he just a friend?". In the whole of John 11, all i can see is that Jesus loved them, Mary, her sister, Martha and their brother Lazarus who died. In John 11:36, the Jews said, "See how He loved him!". So this tells me there was much love(agapei) in it.

We were once enemies of God but by the saving grace of Jesus Christ, we've become friends of God. Friends that He loves. Will Jesus cry for us? I certainly think so! Every time we walk out on Him, I guess He sheds a tear for us, not a tear of disappointment, nor a tear of hurt but a tear of love.

How great thou art

Wow great sermons during both weekend services! The conclusion of the Paul as a Trailblazer for God and Rev. Dennis Lee's Sword of the Spirit! Lots of lessons to learn from both these sermons. Both of them are really relevant to me as of right now i'm seeking my calling from the Lord and tho i'm still a little unsure of what He's calling me to be or to do, to be a teacher, preacher or evangelist. But one thing common is surely all 3 callings need a devotion to the Word of God. From the Word of God is where a teacher draws his lessons from, from the Word of God is where preachers find the fire to instruct others and from the Word of God is where evangelist breath the conviction and truth to non-believers. So there must be more hunger than ever in the reading of the Word of God from now on!

Victor came on Saturday, tho he did not come back to Christ and decided to remain on his own path, i believe that one day when everything comes crashing down and the void in his heart becomes bigger and bigger, he would come back to God. Just like the prodigal son. And i'm sure that God with open arms will receive him. But as for now i'm gonna keep praying for him! Wow certainly my prayer items is getting longer and longer which is good!

My cousin came for the children's evangelistic party and he did learnt something about God tho its just a tiny bit. But still he expressed alot of enthusiasm about wanting to come back. I hope that God will continue to capture his heart. Also, I find my faith rising, i'm beginning to share much more about God to my parents and tho they're still a little stubborn i believe that layer by layer their hardened hearts are breaking down and surely God is at WORK!

Everything's so exciting in my life right now much more exciting before i came to know Christ. I think i heard is once before, "Christians have no life" well i guess they're absolutely wrong! Christians have much more life than them who belongs to the ways of the world, in fact, we have eternal life in Christ Jesus! lol maybe if someone says that to me next time i'm just gonna say that back and probably give myself a chance to evangelise wahaha.

Headlines

As i read the papers each day more and more youths are making the headlines. I think i'll start a scrapbook and paste all these news in it as a reminder to the burden of my generation. For a couple of months my BOMG has been nameless. Today i finally wrote "Youths" on it because it finally occurred to me that that's my burden that God has put in my heart.

Today i was challenged by the enemy that if i continue to walk this path, death will be at the end of it. But my future is in God's hands and not the enemy's. It gave me some thoughts tho, surely i'll meet up with opposition someday if i would continue to preach the Gospel to youths but i'd rather not think bout it anymore because it can turn out to be quite scary.

I guess God knows every of my desires and wants. Get a job, get married, have children and be a good father, simple dream as it is but thats the very desire of my heart. If God's plans for me is different then His will be done. Like the truth that sounds so ironic especially when you've met with difficulties of life, God's plan will always prosper you and not harm you. But the truth is the truth no matter how ironic it gets and i'll hold on to it. Praise the Lord!

in my life, Your Will be done.

Mighty to save!

I really must thank God for the burden of youths which has been growing and growing since i became a Christian. I guess God has put different burdens in different hearts. I was heavily burdened for the past few days praying for the youths in Singapore who have yet to know Christ and that with Christ they can have a friend to really confide in of their various problems. Youths are falling into all kinds of sin, falling victims to all kinds of problems and crimes. God has shown me so much in so many different perspective and happenings. How can i not carry this burden?

Yes. today heavily burdened. I usually take "walks" when i feel this way. Walking around Toa Payoh's 3 neighbourhood schools and void decks in search of youths. Often through these trips i get to see how the secondary school kids are doing. Even more often my heart was more burdened by what i observed. And i just felt so helpless even when i have decided to bring forth God's Word to them. I found it very difficult to muster enough faith and courage and excuses will come which prevented me from preaching to them. "Wah they like gangster liddat later kena beat up", "they are lower secondaries will they understand?" and i often went home defeated and discouraged.

Today was not much of a difference except probably near the end of the trip. I was saddened by the fact that i just cant find any youths hanging out in void decks, i saw a group of secondary school girls but i shun them because i thought that it might be very hard to relate to them. I kept praying for the Holy Spirit to guide me but i didn't hear any instructions. After the third secondary school's neighborhood i felt like going home because my house was round there. Then I felt that i should not give up so soon and continued to pray for guidance. I felt urged to move to the neighborhood ahead.

There was a street soccer court and playground and i saw lots of youths there. But i was attracted to a group of ordinary secondary school boys that were playing some kind of "Blind catching" on the playground. I began to pray for courage and faith and guidance. And finally i plucked up enough courage and asked them if they could stop their game and answer a question. "Where would you think you will go if you were to die in an accident tonight?" I found out that out of the 6 there, 1 was a Christian and 1 was a Catholic and the others were free thinkers. They look kinda like what i look in sec 3. plain ordinary.

Thank God that he gave me a group of easy bunch of kids. I preached the Gospel to them using the John 3:16 message emphasizing abit on the seriousness of hell and the John 3:16 diagram the church usually uses. Praise the Lord for they have such receptive hearts. During QnA i managed to answer their questions but i tried not to give a definite answer to the Catholic's faith because i myself do not know much yet. I must really thank the Holy Spirit for guiding me in the preaching and answering of questions because to be honest i didn't prepare myself much this time round. After everything i prayed for them and i asked if anyone wanted to accept Jesus Christ into their hearts. 3 of the 4 free thinkers put up their hands! i was kidna shocked but elated. i led them each personally thru the sinner's prayer and asked them the question again and all 3 said "Heaven". Praise the Lord for 3 lost sheeps were found! I committed them to their Christian friend to bring them to his church.

What a great experience! I believe that God is preparing me for tougher youths up ahead and i must carry this burden on and continue to grow in faith!

I cant help but shout a word of THANKSGIVING!!

I got my first half month's pay on saturday and whoopiee! a lil bit more and it'd be half the amount reached for development fund! But then again i think i'm giving this amount to my parents first to help pay for bills around the house.

I really must thank God for i did not earn this amount of money but i have taken it from the Lord who has blessed me with it. Looking back it's been a great journey with God on this little mission of Development Fund! Just months ago i've put down the amount that i felt God wanted me to give and tho its not a great amount compared to the adults, but its still quite a big sum for me that i'd never achieve just by my own savings. Haha praise God for that step of faith that He would provide. I knew that such a amount wouldn't just drop from the sky so i kinda decided that i would probably get a job during my holidays to earn it. But nothing honorable about this, they were kinda in a hurry to collect pledge forms and it just occurred to me like this: "Aiyah just write and trust God that u would find a job during holidays".

But the true adventure really started after i pledged. Of coz it wouldnt be adventure without much action in it. It just so happens that "action" came in the form of spiritual attacks. Now, a walk with God isn't always sweet and peaceful and all that. Theres a constant warfare going on between the spirit against the flesh and enemies. And during last couple of months i went thru several spiritual attacks that was quite serious that many a times i thought i'll just stop going to church. One of the weapon used by the enemy was the development fund. Because the amount was something that i could never achieve, serious fear came into me. "What if u're not gonna find a job." lol thinking back all i could do now was to laugh at the enemy because truly God has given me the victory.

Amidst my anxiousness i was often in prayer. As my holidays draws near, suddenly so many "opportunities" came up. We had a module on creating mobile games and there was a competition going on. Our lecturer commented that our game was really good but i dont know why we werent involved in the competition. During studio project, another lecturer said that our games might be chosen for a company that puts games in in-flight computers on commercial planes. We were called back during the first week of holidays to give the presentation again to him and there were serious rumours that we might be chosen because a lot of lecturers are commenting that our game was good. But it all ended up as a "justification" of marks. So that kinda shatter my hope of "money dropping from the sky".

I prayed for a job, and i thought i heard life bookshop bishan. Lol it sounds funny and it is when i first heard it. It took me a lot of courage and faith for me to go. I probably wasted too much time doubting God and when i finally went, there was no answer after i submitted my form. Oh yes, fear strikes again. In a desperate move, i began looking into classifieds. I saw this small ad. 6pm-6am $73 per day. I was like wooo my dream job, i've always wanted to work night shift. My parents were really shocked because i've never worked before and now they suddenly see their son so eager to work for 12 hours. night shift summore.

Was it out of fear? I often wondered. At first yes, out of desperateness but later on i realize that nope it wasn't because of fear. It was zeal. A zeal to accomplish God's work. Next question. So is it using your own strength to accomplish a God-sized mission? I used to think yes and i became quite ashamed of it and often tell friends(even from church) that i worked for fun and experience. But slowly as i see God in this matter the more i think that it wasn't from my own strength at all! It was the zeal and faith that i put in from the moment i wrote the pledge till now working with the strength and motivation of God every single work day.

With God it is no wonder that i enjoy work so much compared to those new employees like me who just started work. With God it is no wonder that the people there for some reason likes me alot and can't stop talking good bout me until i have to pray against pride. With God it is no wonder that even though i worked 12 hours night shift i still manage to go home with a smile and found strength to sing praises as i walked home in the wee hours of morning.

I cant help but shout a word of THANKSGIVING!!

Spirit touch Your church

As each day goes by, it is a day nearer to the rapture. Only one song keep ringing out in my mind this week and it was Spirit touch Your church.

Lord we need Your grace and mercy
We need to pray like never before
We need the power of the Holy Spirit
To open Heaven's door.

Spirit touch Your church, stir the hearts of man
Revive us Lord with Your passion once again
I want to care for others like Jesus cares for me
Let Your reign fall upon me

Lord we humbly come before You
We dont deserve of You what we ask
But we long to see Your glory
Restore this dying land

Praise the Lord for a heart which has grown cold to the lost souls out there to be filled with compassion once again. We truely need to start praying like we never did before for the lost souls out there.

Stir our hearts Lord, stir our hearts to be children of light in this dying land..

thief in the night

"But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare." 2 Peter 3:10

I remembered what my pastor said a couple of weeks ago that some scholars think that Jesus would come back in the next generation. It spurred me on to read more about the rapture and to read the book of revelations. It's been exciting and also sometimes puzzling so far. But one thing i am sure of. Time is really short. I dont know how people consider time but a couple of decades to spread the Word of God to the remain populations of the earth and to tell people about the saving grace of Jesus Christ seems kinda short.

However the most saddening question is that when rapture comes, will my family and friends come to know Christ by then? As i was reading Luke 17:34, "I tell you, on that night two people will be in one bed; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding grain together; one will be taken and the other left." Here is my vision of this, a family is eating dinner together, the child was taken up, the parents left behind. In a blink of the eye, gone. What would they feel? Probably just like those parents who lost all the children in a accident all of a sudden. But what is this? This isnt some accident or tragedy. The children entered the Kingdom of Heaven and the parents left to go thru the Great Tribulation. It even seems like the tables are turned. The parents are in the tragedy not the children. What would the child think or feel? He'd probably think that if only he could've shared the gospel more eagerly with his parents before that happens. If only...

I guess we're really in the last hours of the last days now. God, spur me on, to see my family saved and enter Your kingdom of Heaven...

Work work!

Hoo~ Just came from work and i'm still feeling so full of energy despite 12 hours of work! I guess God is over-sustaining me. But thats goooood! If i were to drop asleep i'd probably not update my blog for like another couple of days.

Work's been super duper great. Tho tiring its enjoyable. Wow am i kidding? Nope! 12 hours work in a handphone factory is fun. Not kidding. oh and no sarcasm too. The people there are super good to me for some reason and all of them are super outgoing. Although most of them are aunties they are funny and talkative. I sort of got adapted to people calling my new name. The malay aunties thought that Chen Thong was too hard, Benedict was too long so they settled for Ben. The chinese aunties keep calling me xiao di or ah di. Haha i dont know why but i cant help but saying that they dont look like they have children at all. super cute. Thank God for them life's been really good there. With them around i probably can go another 12 hours.

As for myself i'm always in my reserve state never talking unless talked to. But i always make sure i have a smile on my face to show that i'm not a spoil sport or anti-social. They keep asking me questions tho bout school and family. But one thing i need to control is pride there, often i'll get praises from them for learning fast and doing stuff fast and different from the other youths there. I guess its another asian culture, always praise other's kid than praise your own kid. But then again i have to keep reminding myself that i must not seek the praises of man but of God, because i sometimes find myself doing things to obtain these praises and its not right. But may all the glory be to God.

Oright gonna continue with my 3/4 cereal 1/4 milk formula lol. and off to a good day's rest.

taste of hardship.

certainly not yummy. lol. But it's been an eye opener working in Motorola factory. I didnt realize the phone's camera could be so small. The people there are very kind to me and all of them are pretty talkative. Almost all of them are middle aged aunties working to support their family. I really respect them man, working 12 hours night shift everyday is tough but its probably their love for their children and wanting them to have a better life that spur them on to continue working.

Actually it's not all that bad working there. Though the working hours are long the hours fly pretty fast especially when theres so much to do and so much targets to meet. We're making Razr2 V8s for the past 2 days and made almost 2 thousand sets lol which is probably enough to pay the employees for a couple of months. I was incharge of drilling the screws and its very fun but kinda repeative.

I'd probably work on for the remaining of my holidays and hopefully earn enough for development fund and a guitar (and probably a wii, if God permits.). Gotta start praying for the salvation of the workers there and targets to spread the gospel to!

Wow.

I got a job as a operator in Motorola Factory. Nope not phone operator but someone who assembles them. Lol it's so ironic, a few months ago i was making mobile phone games and putting them into Motorola phones and now i'm making the phone itself. Well it's kinda nice and all technical but i guess its working time is a lil killing. 6:30 to 6:30, pm to am. It definitely would screw up my body clock but hey its alll for the experience. I've always wanted to try working in a factory like Homer Simpsons cept that he works in a nuclear reactor. Lots of aunties and a handful of youths. I kinda look out of place there since most of them look like dropouts and have tattoos and piercings all over. Lots of people smoke there too even ladies. so i was like --> O[]0

I feel abit sad tho. I knew i didnt really consult God on this one. I jus jumped right in. Like a kid jumping into a pool. Lets just hope that pool is not a pool of cement. ouch that'd hurt. But i guess i'll just have to rely on God even more. If He wants me to leave then i'll leave, else there would be surely a reason why He wanted me to stay. However i might leave if my body cant take it tho i'm not gonna give it much thoughts because i'm quite determined on this one. With zero work experience i really hope i can adapt fast.

Ahh already i forsee alot of problems thats gonna come out. I've to work on saturdays twice this month and both fall on lifegroup weeks. This saturday. Oh my goodness. This saturday! I cant get leave because i have to work for 3 days first T_T Man i cant believe i have to leave early on life group week. What's more powderful is that the next day i have GCE at 8:45 and baptism. I think i'll fall as asleep as sleeping beauty once i reach home. lol.

Floodgates

Whenever we start feeling disappointed at God or start getting confused and irritated when something goes the other way we want it to be, the enemy strikes. I guess the number 1 truth i must continue to have in my heart is this: "God works all things for the good of those who love Him". How wonderful of God to equip us with the sword of the spirit. However the flesh cannot be taken lightly. When the floodgates are open, when our defense is wide open, the enemy always finds its way into our heart and cause his destruction. I'm not sure what we should do after that. I often see myself falling into sin or being hurt by deceit or plain disillusioned. I guess we must all recognize the spiritual attack when it starts and prayerfully ask for the Lord's help. How eager He is to deliver and rescue us. Thank God.

What a nice lesson from the Lord today. As baptism draws near, like Ps. Ben said, you will be under spiritual attacks. I guess it's a really good time to strike when all of a sudden i was confused at how God works. I was quite sure i heard God telling to find this job at a particular place and then i went there filled up the form and nothing happened. Was wondering if i heard wrongly or just my flesh playing tricks on me. I didnt even know when i was feeling disappointed. Yea, what a nice opportunity for the enemy to strike. I shan't talk about his lies or whatever he used but i must really thank God for this lesson. Without this i'd probably be hurt by some kind of dumb lie or falling into sin.

w00t how great is the Lord my God, the Teacher and the Redeemer!

The Great Battle Ahead

Exactly 1 week left to baptism! Really excited and yet somehow worried. Should i tell my parents? What would they say? Would they be angry? Well there could be a dozen more thoughts coming in but no matter what, i've my mind set on getting baptised in obedience to God.

I'm sure a great battle lies ahead of me. A battle that would put my faith to the ultimate test. Would i stand up for Christ in my family of relatives? Am i ready to be looked down upon by those so close to me? It just so happens that i'm the only grandson and all traditional responsibility of a guy rest on my shoulders. I'm sure my relatives would bombard me with words that will be as sharp as swords. I'm sure that who i am will pull down the reputation of my family. I'm sure that my own family will look at me with disappointment. I'm sure that i'll be criticized before a panel of aunties that would judge me unworthy as grandson. Will my parents turn away?

But who am i to contemplate the future? My future lies in the hands of the Lord. So what if theres a great battle in front of me when the Lord has already given me victory? Praise the Lord! May my faith be strong when the time comes. Who knows what will happen when the Spirit moves? I'm sure with the Helper, all things are possible! Who knows? My relatives might even accept Christ when i preach my faith to them!

Because He lives, i can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives.

Praises

Like all parents from asian culture, my parents wouldn't praise me for anything good that i've done. Most often, i find them talking humbly about me when i became a topic of discussion in their conversations with relatives and neighbours. But praise the Lord for i have such loving parents though they dont really show their love to me openly.

Today was my self-declared Slack Day. After working like crazee for 3 weeks non-stop, i find myself so drained. Especially the last week when our team's game is coming together which was one of the toughest part of all. Starting work at 9 and ending at 9 at night, leaves me really tired from all the staring and thinking of codes. Once home, tiredness always seems to grab hold of me and i found myself falling asleep during my quiet time. Drained dry and spiritually weaken, i was like a living zombie like the rest of my other team mates. We even had to stay over at our friend's house on the last day before presentation to finish debugging our game. Thank God we managed to complete the game on time. Presentation was great. The teachers seemed impressed and i just received news that they have interest in our game and will be calling us back next monday.

Ahh though the game's been a success, i knew that i sacrificed most of my time with God to put more effort into it. Thursday was the presentation and yet to me it was a day of thanksgiving to God for sustaining me throughout the weeks. Though i found myself dried up, i knew God was there protecting me and His grace ever surrounding me which gave me enough strength to stand up against the enemies daily.

Okay. That was kinda a big side track. back to Slack day. So i was doing chores for my parents today cause they asked me to. Well back in the old days i could have probably rebelled and not do them at all. But praise the Lord, I did chores today without complains. Well, hadn't the Lord called us to honour our parents? In my little obedience to my parents i hope i've gave glory to God. They indirectly praised me as they were comparing my sister and me. Yeap i was kinda delighted and encouraged but i was really hoping that they remember that I've told them before that i'll honour them because Jesus told me to. Well, i guess all things start small, may my little actions of obedience to them show them the transformation which is happening in me.

Praise the Lord!

Deceit of the enemy

It's lifegroup meeting again and this week we're continuing on experiencing God as a church. We learnt more on God's love for us and what He has called us to do, which is to love one another earnestly from a pure heart. It's like cool! I keep learning bout that in this new season and really open my heart to more reflections. Everything was well until worship when my leader asked us to approach our accountability partner or anybody that we wanted to say thanks to. I didnt know why but i was stumped.

I suddenly felt so alone, as i open my eyes to look around me i saw all the other lifegroup members rejoicing and in prayer. I knew that from this moment i've let my guard down against the enemy. The enemy bombarded my with things that made my head so confused and soon i found myself crying. Words like, "did anyone ever gave a damn bout you?", "how can you be a blessing to them if they're not even your blessing?", "does anyone call you at all during your week to ask you how are you doing?", "you have nobody to confide in", "you are alone". The more these words rang out the more i couldn't focus and i found myself in the enemy's toying. Although i knew i was under spiritual attack, i just couldn't face up to the challenge because most of the time i found myself really alone in this walk with God (cept with the Holy Ghost and my leader).

The ordeal lasted really long even until dinner with the others and going home. I don't know but i just cried on my bed. I need to come to God. Praise the Lord, as i came into His refuge the enemy has no chance of touching me. He showed me that i existed in people's prayers and that simply was enough for me to break the enemy's deceptions! He also reminded me of being a blessing to others which is always better than receiving. Through this it just made me more determined to love my brothers more and i guess the enemy's just trying to stop me, not only he failed but i got stronger! Praise the Lord!

new season of life!

As baptism draws closer and closer, i think i'm entering a new season of life! God has new directions for me and new focuses are put in my mind and it all points to one thing, a new self!
"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come!" 2 Cor 5:17

With new strength to live for His name everyday as a good testimony, courage and determination to deal with my human self, love and compassion to grow in the relationship of the brothers in Christ. All i've got to say is that i'm totally excited at what God's gonna teach and do in this new season!

death to the old self, born again with Christ.

Have I been of good testimony?

Very often at the end of a day when i'm doing my quiet time, i'd ask God if i was a good testimony in His name. Have i cared enough for others? Have i shown love to people? Have my deeds and actions impacted anyone in a good way? Well, God would very often convict me of the things i did or the words that i've said which do not have a good impact on others. It's good, to see what you have done during the day flash past you and hear God's comments on them. But as convicted as i may be, very often i fall back to the same ways the next day. I guess its really time to break free from this cycle and seek His strength to really shine His light to the people around me in my family and school and cca.

Lol that sounded as if i was a bad testimony in wherever i go. Well, i dont use colourful languages nor bark at people or whatsoever, but is this enough to be a good testimony? How do you define being good in the sight of people? If pleasing people was so hard, then wouldnt pleasing someone perfect like God be even harder? But praise the Lord, He has enabled us to live blamelessly and pleasing His sight by giving something to us, which is GRACE. Grace enables us to pick ourselves up every single time we fall short of His glory but sometimes i guess it's over-emphasized. No matter how graceful and loving God is, He IS Holy and Righteous. If we continue to dwell in His grace and not seek repentance, wouldn't we be fooling ourselves and worst still, abusing God's grace?

Back on topic, just like the song "Spirit touch the church", theres a part, "I want to care for others like Jesus cares for me" I must strive to be a person who is just like that! I'm sure with the empowerment of God i'll be able to lead such a life that people may see Jesus in me.

like the city on the hill, i'll shine for You..

Love

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"
1 Corinthians 14:12

thank God for His great love for us. A love that forgives, a love that never condemns. A love that is everlasting, a love that grants us freedom. A love that is totally free!

It saddens me everyday to see youths hugging and kissing in public and to see in my msn contacts' nicks which often very much contains sadness from failed relationships. Blogs filled with emotional rants and all that. So i was wondering, Lord, why are they looking so hard for love everywhere when there is one that will always be here? If only they could come to know of Your great love, there wouldn't be so much sadness in them! This love is more than just hugs and kisses, it never fails and it is always there. But the best part is..its totally FREE! 100% Chopped Guaranteed with infinite years of warranty.

I guess, what i have seen serves as a reminder to the Burden Of My Generation. That youths out there need God! Youths are falling victims to so many unfortunate situations and where have my compassion go?

Someday

1st day of Studio Project = great. Got pretty good progress at the first day of the project. Well 1 day down 2 weeks 6 days to go!

Project ended at 5:30 got home by 6 and i decided to go for a run. My mom asked if i wanted to go and pay respects to my ancestors and burn joss paper, but i insisted on going for a run. To my surprise she said ok instead of nagging bout me being unfilial and all that. I guess she kinda accepted and understand that i'm a Christian now and i'm not really keen to do this kind of thing. But then again i felt that i should have went because i didnt want to appear rebellious or unrespectful to my parents. So i was running and asking God what i should have done. He reminded me of a answer Pastor Ben gave me when i asked him if i should do this kinda thing even it was just pretense. He said that ultimately God knows my heart but it will be good if i can explain to my parents that i shouldn't do this kinda thing anymore.

After the run i met my family downstairs and they were still burning joss paper. I felt kinda left out and throughout the duration my dad was really quiet. I was pondering what he was thinking of... We went for dinner after that and my dad starting talking bout religions. He said free thinkers are the best because they are not inclined to do this or not to do that. Yes, he's correct. But what happens to free thinkers when they die?

He went on talking bout no matter what religion it is, there are still evil people in it and that nobody except 1 in a million is truely good. So i was wondering, yeap thats true. However do Jesus Christ require us to do good deeds before he grants us salvation? Must you donate 1 million dollars to charity before you qualified to be saved? Must you spend half your life helping elderly or the needy before salvation is granted to you? NO! even if you are a murderer, robber or whatever not, salvation will still be granted to you! It is not based on good deeds or the actions you give, it's the GRACE of God! and simply by FAITH we accept this salvation.

Although from all this i know that my parents do not know the truth yet, i felt compelled to tell them the truth. But i was hindered by the fact that they were too much in disbelief. As we were walking home, i was convicted of my disobediance and i prayed for an opportunity. In the lift, my mom jokingly asked why such a everything-also-dont-want-but-just-want-to-be-free-free type of person like me would become a Christian. I said that yes a free life is good but what happens after that? I want to go to heaven and not hell. My dad started saying that yea every religion says that. Then he started talking bout my elder uncle's religion (i'm not sure what it's called but i think they worship alot of different gods) which kept saying bout the same thing bout heaven and hell too. I explained the difference between Christianity and that. My dad chuckled and said that this kind of thing how can believe because nobody of this age has seen it. Immediately i was reminded of what Jesus said to Thomas. "Because you have seen Me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed" John 20:29. Well i gave a short translated chinese version and though he didnt say anything after that, i believe somehow something was cleared up.

I'm sure God will open more opportunities for me to share more about the gospel to my parents. Someday they will understand and the truth will set them free!

Light of the World, You Step Down Into Darkness

Saturday and Sunday became my favourite days coz i get to be in the house of God and to be among God lovin' people. I'm glad to be there than anywhere else in the world. It's like throughout the week i am blasted with loads and loads of stress and troubles from school and all, and all i can look forward to is the weekends. Well, praise God that i could have the privilege of being found in His house!

We learnt bout God's great Salvation and His great love for us during LG meeting. I've always wondered why God would keep forgiving us over and over again even if we have failed Him a million times. And the answer was simply He loves us. He loves us so much that he sent His Son to die for us while we are still His enemies.

WOW seems like i've been brainwashed or something. Well, the truth is that, if anybody would come to know of His love and experiences it, he/she would have said the same thing. After accepting Christ bout 6 months ago, my life changed. And its still changing day by day. Even though i may still fall sometimes, God and His people is always there to pick me up and i'll grow even more. It's been goooood so far and it's high time i spread His love to the people surrounding me!

i'll never know how much it costs to see my sins upon that cross......

God works in mysterious ways O.O

Truely God works in ways we can never fathom. For the past weeks i've been visiting this blog thinking that it was one of my church youth leader's blog. From there God spoke to me loads and on top of that, there was a lesson i learnt there which really made a impact on how am i walking with God. Well it was this message (or something like that): God's grace for us should not be taken granted of and certainly not for us to abuse. God's grace for us is to lead us into lives of perfection and sanctification for His name. Well firstly, from this i felt that, yes, for sure that God will forgive us no matter how many times we fail Him in the area of sin or trust, but definitely at some point of time we might come to think that "aiyah God surely will forgive me, so let me just continue to...". This simple message just made me reaffirm myself to lead a holy life worthy of Him although i may fail sometimes at least I wouldnt repeat or dwell in the failure.

Ok coming back to the main topic, the blog didnt actually belong to that youth leader of mine. It was some unknown person to me. It certainly wasnt coincidence. It's like wow, i went to this blog thinking its one of my youth leader's blog, actually learnt something which has so much impact in my walk with God and then finding out that the blog was never his! Well, praise God! I found out it wasnt his blog after the poster posted some pictures bout her (yea. it's a her) parent's birthday and i was wondering: "eh? how come dont have him inside the pictures" then i checked my friend's link to the correct blog and finally found out that i went to the wrong blog.

haha well no matter how mysteriously God works, it's GOOOOOD!

Benedict

I've been thinking of a Christian name for my baptism for quite a while now. So i was speaking to God one day in the lift (yes. the lift. as in elevator.) and He said Benedict. I was like huh? i knew there was a word called benediction but didnt know got such a name called Benedict. I didnt know the meaning of the name tho, was thinking in the line of benefits LOL. Well sorta. It means blessed. Since the Lord has spoken then i shall be called Benedict! lol was thinking of calling myself Max or James since they're my favourite childhood names.

Baptism is really coming soon! it's been pushed forward by 1 month! Tho i'm really excited, i'm kinda worried too. By going thru the water baptism means directly going against my parent's wishes. They specifically said that i should never be baptised. However i guess obediance to God shall be put first and i cant wait to die to my old self and be born again! i believe one day my parents will understand because one day they're gonna be saved too.

I finally found the song: "Open the eyes of my heart". Tho its 24 dollars (T_T) for the cd, i guess its really worth it, coz i also managed to find a couple of other songs i'm really fond of in the cd.

Open the eyes of my heart Lord,
Open the eyes of my heart,
I want to see You...

Sacrifice for the love of God's people

The 2nd death was confirmed. The death of another South Korean Christian volunteer to Afghanistan. As i was pondering over the news, i was wondering God, what are You doing? Why are You letting your people die? A overwhelming sadness came upon me as i thought of the families and friends who had lost their loved ones. Not only did i feel sad but i started to feel really angry at those terrorists. It just dosent make sense! These volunteers went to Afghanistan to aid the country and to provide medical service for their people and yet they received this kind of persecution?

As i continued pondering, God must have seen how confused i am, and i heard Him saying, Wouldnt these people be in heaven? I guess heaven is a better place than this. However i also felt that if this is the will of God, there must be a reason to what He's gonna do or did. I'm pretty sure that if this was a calling of God to the 23 who went, even if they knew that they were going to meet such dangers, i believe that they will still go. Who knows? Through this incident, things can happen! God uses us to His plans and although sometimes His direction may lead us into difficult situations, I believe that our faith is the most important thing that will be put in the test! I just pray that comfort will fall upon the friends and families of the 2 casualties. On top of this, God's love is for all, no matter if you murdered or how much bad things you've done, as long as you accept Jesus and seek true repentance, God will transform you into a totally new person!

Lord, let Your will be done.

woohoo~

new blog! wow hadnt been blogging for ages and boy oh boy, blogger sure packs a great deal of features nowadays.

It's been a busy busy busy week. I have 2 major assignments on hand and 1 script to memorize and 2 tests to study for. Been sleeping for less than 5 hours a day. But praise God! i'm still rockin' and kickin' with life! Now i'm just left with one assignment to do and i have to pass it up on monday.

God spoke to me a great deal today during youth service. Revival is truely something REAL and its happening around the world. Is revival possible in Singapore? I believe so! and I'm not just gonna sit and do nothing! Gotta go out there and prepare the fields for the RAIN!

test!

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