Yes i'm no long super. lol. meh. I guess a new chapter of my life would definitely bring about changes and one of which just happened to be my blog. I dont know if anyone still reads it but apparently a couple of friends still do so here you go, the new blog address, www.ohchivalry.blogspot.com
I'm gonna try and blog more, as i'm trying very hard learning to express myself better and i'd figure the writing helps. hopefully.
so cheers.
:)
Okay, 2 posts in one day, i'm just really bored now that i'm on block leave. Anyway, it's so very saddening to see all their POP photos on facebook, while they are all throwing their caps in tekong yesterday i was in bed recovering from high fever. Wished i could've been there with my brothers till the end but alas i just had to concede defeat to this silly fever.
Mmm so what's next? I really don't know but i do hope to get into the Flying Experience Program (FEP), i heard it's slack and high pay, plus you wont lose the chance to go to command school if your air grading fails. They all say that i'm OCS bound but things DO happen and so i'm keeping my fingers crossed till the postings are out.
Well if i dont get into OCS, SISPEC's the way to goooo, i just dont want to be a man. I can't imagine telling my son next time, "ah boy ah, your dad was a infantry MAN last time! everyday chiong sua!", man that would be kinda xia suay. So NO! no man! please!
And if i do get into OCS, it's gonna be so tempting to sign on. Signing on would mean that i dont have to rely on my parents anymore! Oh wow, they could really use those grands for holidays and retire blissfully without a tinge of worry for their thoughtful son, heh heh. But it's gonna be a 6 year bond tho and i'm not so sure that i want to give up the dreams of teaching just yet.
Guess there's lots to think about, now that more options are opening up and i hate to say it but all these things sound so dang important!
You know, Punggol is a nice place to live in. There are kids EVERYWHERE and they are all O'so cute, they're like sunflowers on a field that just perk your day up, well that is if you like children.
I heard from my mom about a news whereby a five year old child was knocked down by a car, more specifically a Subaru Impreza and i just felt kinda devastated. The child died inevitably because the car was speeding and i asked myself this, why did God allow this to happen? Cant He intervene somehow? I would've answered this easily if i was doing better but right now with my dwindling faith i could only throw myself logical suggestions.
Anyhow, at the end of it i came to this conclusion, humans are screwed up, like totally. I guess that's why we need a Saviour. It's never God's fault that all these mishaps happen, He gave us free will and control and i guess we just mess things up, oblivious to the consequences of our actions. Ah speaking of consequences, we will never be able to escape from you, and now the death of a little girl for a man's folly.
And I'd never fathom how God can love the man as much as the child. never.
9 more days to POP and i am so happy. I'm tired, really tired mentally all this while trying to cope with the things that's happening in me. I've somewhat changed and i'm not really liking the "me" right now but hey, now that's a motivation to change for the better.
I guess it's been too long since i spend time, like real quality and proper time with God. I can imagine my "spirit man" drying up, like spongebob out of water and i'm not doing much about it. I'm just really punched out by fatigue and it really killed my desire to go to church sometimes. Army's such a big test and it revealed so much ugliness in me and just what my faith stands on.
And there's the matters of the heart as well. My esteem took several blows looking at how i'm going downhill on my morality and principles that i just dont see myself worthy of who she is. I guess that's why i've not been contacting her at all and argh it's kinda killing me.
Oh if only i could find the "off" buttons for my emotions. Oh wait i think i found it, army. Ha, i used to look forward to booking in because i thought that army was fun and full of new experiences (it really is.), now i look forward to it because it numbs me. I just have to go around and do stuff people tell me to but come bedtime when these thoughts return, all i could do is switch on my ipod and listen to my "emo songs" playlist.
Ahhh, at the end of it all, all i can say is that "nothing seems right when i'm not with You".
I was writing my commanders' appraisal and i discovered something about myself, I suck totally at describing people. I guess i'm bad at processing people's actions, speech and intentions or maybe i'm just plain shallow at judging people. Bah, anyOhow it's something to add to my "who-am-i-really" list.
It's funny how you live so long, how you look into the mirror each day and sometimes wonder, IS THAT ME? I mean like me, wow me, look i can raise up a hand, do a twirl or maybe a somersault in the bathroom. Ha. This the season for me to know myself better and i'm trying to compile a list of things i know about myself, the things i like to do, my intentions, my school of thought and stuff. It's outright weird i know but yet it's a journey i have to take, a journey to find out who this person i'm living with for the past 20 years really is.
tell my mom i love her. hahahaha. Okay, a few more moments and i'd be off to defend my country or rather learn how to defend my country. Field camp's starting tmr and it's gonna be the highlight of BMT and i sure hope i'd survive this without needing to report sick or anything.
and all i'm left with are my goals and an integrity to keep intact. Argh. Hopefully these would be enough to keep me motivated. God help me. It's been 5 weeks and i'm getting bugged by this feeling, oh yes it gotta be the feeling of lethargy.
Yeah it's still "fun" and all manly but i guess this dreadful feeling has its way of creeping up on you. It leaves you at a sub-standard, unmotivated state and tempts you to just take the easy way out sometimes. Oh lethargy how i hate you so.
Okay got to pull myself together now and keep giving it my best shot, whatever it takes man. I guess this is the part where it gets mental and high time i get honed in this aspect!
"Book in happy, book out happier". That was my reply to one of my awesome bunkmate when he caught me smiling all the while when we're on the ferry to our "chalet". Haha i think i'm a lil nuts having such positivity but hey, it's a good thing.
Ahh 3 weeks already! I've met all sorts of people in here and it's a huge part funny but frustrating sometimes. Gotta say that the army is the place where your patience is put to the test and how far you'd go to love your neighbors even if they're really hard to love. So far i think i'm failing like crazy lol. Okay. Love more and make fun less.
But on a more serious note, i've gotta look at my intentions on doing things. Even if i'm giving my best, am i doing it just to get to command school or am i obliged to do my best for God? Mmm it's something i have to keep reminding myself, just what is my motivation, my goals and aims or God Himself? Oh may it never be that i give this my best shot just because i wanna get what i want.
Argh and please pray for my throat lol, i'm losing my voice and croaking like a toad every book out. I cant even sing my favorite songs :( Ahhh the consequence of being a timer and "singer" in the company.
2 weeks into training and it's been tiring but nevertheless fulfilling. I kinda like it actually, lol first day in there and the ncc cadet in me just took over, i guess regimentation's in my blood.
It all lies in the attitude actually. If you went in with an attitude that you're gonna waste 2 years of your life, then you probably would. It'd be much better if you go in with a more positive attitude. Good thing i'm of the latter, or maybe i'm just plain silly, I went in thinking i'm gonna serve my country :D and that everything i have here is worth defending. Sounds like a whole lot of patriotism but hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, it's part of being a MAN. Oh my, now i feel kinda sad actually, i'm probably from the wrong era XD, who still hold these thoughts these days?!
Thank God for everything i've experienced in there so far, my bunkmates are awesome and so are the commanders (none too sadistic or anywhere near that.phew.). Oh and not forgetting my wonderful parents, they've been treating me soooo well every time i book out. Lol cant forget how my mom sounded when i called her during the first couple of days in there, i thought she was close to tears XD
So i guess this would be my final phase of growing from a youth to a young adult, it's a brand new chapter and i like it. (i've always loved new things anyway.) There'd be more challenges to overcome, more discoveries about myself, more changes i have to make and also the failures i'd have to pick myself up from but with God, i'm sure i'm gonna have a blast of a time in this season :D
Mmm been listening to the songs from these guys (they're called Nevertheless) lately. I'd say they're a secular christian band and their songs are pretty sound.
And this is for that special someone who might not even see this lol.
What if the fad burns out?
What if we're left without
Anyone to call our own?
You've got it figured out
If ever your in doubt
Never have to feel alone
People they come and people they go.
I could be wrong, but,
There's one thing I know
It's a longshot, baby,
But someday both of us will die
So I was thinking, maybe,
I could be your semi-perfect guy.
You don't know me, baby,
But I was hopin' we could try
For a longshot, you and I.
What if we take a chance,
What if we break your plans
And let me sweep you off your feet
You said you hate romance,
But I'm a persistent man
And I want you here with me
People they come and people they go.
I could be wrong, but,
There's one thing I know
It's a longshot, baby,
But someday both of us will die
So I was thinking, maybe,
I could be your semi-perfect guy.
You don't know me, baby,
But I was hopin' we could try
For a longshot, you and I.
I've been prayin' all my life
For love that's true,
But I never thought I'd get a girl like you.
O can't you see
Heaven sent you to me. (i lol'ed @ this line. really. it's super cheesy.)
It's a longshot, baby,
But someday both of us will die
So I was thinking, maybe,
I could be your semi-perfect guy.
You don't know me, baby.
But I was hopin' we could try
For a longshot, you and I.
Tell my mom i love her hahahahahahahhahaha. That's what those soldiers in movies always say before going off somewhere isn't it?
I've got less than 12 hours left and mmm all i can say is that i'm really excited at what God's gonna do! Ha looking at my 7th Jan post, this trip's gonna be an answered prayer (or rather resolution?) and i'm tremendously grateful for this opportunity. Throughout the months i've seen God's hands at work paving the way for the trip. Gonna list em here:
"Woe is me, for I am ruined!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I live among a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts."
Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal in his hand, which he had taken from the altar with tongs. He touched my mouth with it and said, "Behold, this has touched your lips; and your iniquity is taken away and your sins is forgiven."
Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Then I said, "Here I am. Lord send me!". (Isaiah 6:4a-8)
I'm far from perfect. I have issues that I have to deal with, struggles I have to go through and obstacles I need to overcome. But praise be to the Lord our God, our giver of grace, our well of strength, our fortress of love that keeps me going.
I'm cleansed. I found Him to be faithful and righteous to forgive me for my sins and iniquities. I know that there'd be a day that I'll have to stand before Him, fearing not for the things I've done because I know I've been forgiven, but what about the things that I should have done but did not?
I'm called. Not in dreams nor fancy visions, no loud booming voice nor clouds that suddenly form words. It's nothing mystical. It's just how much you believe what God says in His Word, "Go and make disciples of all nations and baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe what I have commanded you and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
I'm here. Send me. For all He has done, I'm willing to go. This life I have don't belong to me no more, I've lost my rights to plan out my life the way I want it to be. I don't know if I'd fail Him in the end but at least I would've tried.
"So here I am, Lord send me to the imperfect, that they may know that You have reconciled them to Yourself by the blood of Your Son just as it has been written in Your perfect Gospel."
(and here's a really meaningful song that i've heard.)
Observed today's extra-ordinary general meeting and i'm quite disappointed and discouraged. It seems to me that people treasured their own opinions and views over what God might actually have for us? Do people actually think and pray before they voice their views? Are they not at all afraid that they'd be held accountable to God on Judgment Day?
Is it just gonna be a new building? I'd rather we all get new hearts. If we moved there with such a lousy heart attitude, the new building would just be an shell, devoid of TRUE WORSHIPERS. Where's the heart of expectancy? If people would've prayed 30 seconds a day for the church, they would've felt that God is going to do something NEW and something really really really AWESOME. Or have we accepted our defeat and gotten comfortable in this pit which stinks of unbelief?
At the end of it, i thought to myself, we are the new generation, if the church would grow, it'd grow thru us. I wanna be a Joshua and lay hold on what God has in store for us!
GOD SHAKE US OUT OF OUR STAGNANCY!
"Every time you yield to sin, you are passing a brick to satan to build his stronghold in your life."
Learned something really important regarding faith.
Take a bank that has been established for 150 years by men of proven integrity and another just 3 days by 3 rich crooks. Which one would you put your money in? Which of these you put your money in, therein your faith lies.
You're at the side of a gushing river, there before you lies 2 bridges, one broken wooden one with lots of holes and termites and another, a solid concrete bridge complete with steel railings and lamp posts. Which one would you choose to walk on? Which of these you choose to walk on, therein your faith lies.
Faith isn't (and shouldn't be) churned out of me. It's simply based on the "options" (there's probably a better word since i have a limited vocabulary XD) that is before us. Which one would we deem reliable? God or ourselves?
Had a really awesome time at the camp hosted by New Tribes Missions. God never ceases to amaze and i'm really thankful for this "second chance" to attend this camp. I've got to learn and experience lotsa stuff during the camp and most importantly, to hear Him speak.
I'm challenged. This "Big Picture" Camp turns out to be a big challenge. I had to re-look at my life and question myself, how committed am i to His call to go and make disciples of all nations. Oh, how many wrong opinions i've held about what missions is and God's true heartbeat!
Whose life is it anyway? Is it mine or God's? If it's God's then do i still have the right to plan out my life? Do i still have the right to fulfill my own dreams and aspirations? Do i still have the right to do what i like and am comfortable with?
Overtime we just forget who we really belong to. It'd be a great big no to the above questions if we know that we've been purchased by the precious blood of Christ. Yeah, I know it's heavy stuff. When i heard that during the camp i felt as if someone tied a boulder to my heart and i just want to dieeeeeeeee please.
I want to follow Jesus, all the way. It's gonna be hard, it's gonna be painful to really say "Thine will be done" but it's gonna be worth it.
Is 57:15, James 4:6b & Ps 51:17
Where does God dwell? He dwells in the high and lofty places and He resides in the hearts of the contrite. The ardent christian is but imperfect, he is still as susceptible to falls.
There first be an acknowledgment that something has come between his relationship with God. Then there be an admittance and confession followed by renewed will to turn away from that dividing wedge. Grace is bestowed to those who humble themselves while those who continue to pride themselves with pretension may just find God as their opposition.
We must sometimes come to a point of acknowledgment that we simply cannot save ourselves and that we are desperately in need of God's grace. If we continue to hold to the "God-cant-help-me" attitude then we can surely expect no victory at all for we have reduced who God is. (oh what an insult actually!)
"A dire need leads to a desperate cry. We fail to see how dire the need (in this case, of humility) is and that's why we're not found crying anymore."
John 16:11
The ardent christian knows that the war has already been won and the enemy now stands condemned. Satan stands condemned at the triumph of the cross where the Lamb of God was slain to take the sin of the world away.
So every battle we face now is understood as the work of a sore loser. As he fights these battles and temptations, he never forgets that the war has already been won. Though he may fail sometimes, he knows that nothing will ever change the TRUTH that God is triumphant.
God holds the victory and we are called to be heirs of that victory. Oh that we might shed that defeatist attitude and REJOICE in the victory of our Lord Jesus Christ!
Psalms 121 & John 15:5
The ardent Christian is a christian that is dependent not on man but God. He goes thru the same circumstances, the same temptations, the same valleys as others go thru. So what makes him different?
He lifts his eyes to the mountains of obstacles ahead and questions himself, "Where shall my help come from?". He knows that his strength will fail him and his own wisdom will fool him, surely his experiences are enough to tell him that. Yet, his heart holds to this knowledge, "my help comes from the Lord my God, the Maker of the heavens and the earth". He knows that his help comes from the One who set him on the very journey itself and the One who allowed him to go thru these very obstacles. So why not trust Him?
As life goes on, he begins to examine and reflect upon his life. He counted the times he was delivered and wondered to himself, surely God is trustworthy so why not trust Him more? And he did. Now, it finally dawned on him that without God he can do nothing, he sees the times he fought with his own strength and lost utterly and he sees the times he trusted and was delivered.
As i look at the world around me i just cant help but realize it's really really not easy to be a Christian. We are bombarded by so many sensual materials, so many false philosophies, so much wickedness and everything's just shouting out loud, "There is no God!". Well, it has already been said that in the last days all this would happen, so i questioned myself and God, how would i survive and how would i run with EXCELLENCE?
"Be an ardent Christian."
"I'd love to be that and it sounds really cool!"
And then there was this surge of impressions of what an ardent Christian is like as i sat on the bus contemplating. I was so amazed at what the Holy Spirit was laying in my heart but i'm just so lazy to have taken them down in a notebook! (grrr. stupid me) Ha. But i'm gonna take it slowly and continue to see what God is laying in my heart. Oh this is gonna be so exciting! A new devotion series!
Patient:
(dictionary.com) Bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc. With fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like.
(strong's) to be of long spirit, not to lose heart; to be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others; to be mild and slow in avenging; to be long-suffering, slow to anger, slow to punish.
Patience is not just about waiting. Patience also comprises of mercy in view of wrong doings and it's the opposite of anger. So what does it mean by love is patient? I think it is loving in mercy and in tolerance towards mistakes and offenses. It's also about waiting and not rushing into fulfilling emotional demands and needs in a relationship.
For God to love us in patience is for Him to display His mercy upon us. He does not give up on us and continues to draw us back to Him. Ah! So many a times we fail to realize this and chose to run away and hide. (Like Adam and Eve first did.) Mmm i hope that as we grow and mature in Christ there will be less of such tendencies!
"That world outside there is not waiting for a new definition of Christianity, it's waiting for a new demonstration of Christianity." - Leonard Ravenhill
I got reminded of this quote today and sure enough God had something for me to do. I spoke to this blind man selling tissue and it was quite an interesting encounter. I asked him questions about how he manage and stuff and we talked about the weather and the recent news as well. He's really friendly! Then i drifted to this question, "Do you think Singaporeans are kind?". His reply was that we're probably more helpful some 10 years ago, but times have changed and people are really busy nowadays (so utterly true, huh).
I was wondering how am i gonna share the gospel with my half-bucket mandarin. Then he popped this question, "What is your religion?" (in mandarin) and i replied, "wo shi ji tu jiao tu!". Guess what? He is too! Hahaha. So we spoke about what fellowship we go to and i found out that he actually wrote songs and sang them. I'm so privilege to be able to hear them thru his mp3 and though i could only make up some parts of the song, i could really feel the love for God in his voice and lyrics.
Turns out, he blessed me more than i could bless him. I could only give him that few dollars and yet from him i learnt so many lessons. The greatest is this, to rejoice in the Lord always, no matter the lack. He is blind, he needs to go for kidney dialysis every other day, he lives alone and barely makes a living, yet he continues to rejoice in His salvation and there was not even a hint of disappointment at all. Praise God! It's so amazing!
Wah really thank God man. Now i've got something to do, i needa find a recording studio! His desire is to record his songs into a CD and send them to other blind people in Singapore and China!
Worship retreat was awesome. The theme could be summed up in 1 verse, "So teach us to number our days, That we may present to You a heart of wisdom." Psalms 90:12. We only have one life to live and what are we doing with it? What are we investing it in? I'm faced with questions that really made me look at my 2+ years of being a Christian and honestly evaluating myself with the search-lights of the Holy Spirit. On top of that, there were also questions about our personalities and giftings (which were really tough!).
Till this point, i honestly still cant answer all of the questions but i guess i'm gonna take it slowly and see what God is speaking. Actually i find all these quite in line with what i'm dealing with right now. I'm contemplating what God really wants me to do with this life that He has given. There's a couple of inclinations and a whole lot of uncertainties. Is it teaching? Is it missions? Is it full-time? Is it to sign on? Or is it back to the (gaming) industry which is so contrary to my new found values?
Ahhh, but thank God for such opportunities (or uncertainties). Ha if God were to show us everything from start to end then where'd be the fun?! I totally agree with Alvin, who liken this to digging for gold. Though it's gonna be tiring and stuff, the outcome is really good (Gold!), to be at the centre of God's will. It really is a molding process and through this our faith is strengthen. So it's a win-win situation!
"This is the eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent" John 17:3
have i known God today?
Awesome day with 2 really dear brothers at Vivo and United Square! Caught "Handsome Suit" with them and found it to be quite a funny show! Ha. Among us 3 i think i laughed the most and loudest, that's because i have a bigger funny bone. =0
Well, I guess the movie really cleared up the atmosphere a lil as one of us was feeling abit emo. That's why we met in the first place! Hahaha brothers in Christ must support each other man and thank God all 3 of us could meet today as if by divine appointment. So we chatted at this cafe that overlooks the port about some serious stuff! So here are a couple (less private) points of our discussions:
HAHAHA was really happy when Compassvale Primary called me today afternoon! F.I.N.A.L.L.Y I get to do something!
Thank God for this opportunity to experience and learn! So my first lesson started off with "Good afternoon class! You can call me Mr. Chiam!". Then i committed my first mistake, i was told not to smile (that's like calling me not to breathe!). Argh, i just can't help it, it's such an integral part of me man. But i quickly see why the advice tho. The students became really hard to control and the dreaded question quickly arise, "Why you always smiling?". Ha thankfully that lasted only 20 minutes. So lesson learnt, dont smile so much!
Next was english which was easy because they had work to do, followed by canteen duties for 2 recesses. Mmm the food looks tasty but it looks as if i could slurp everything up in one go! And next up was P.E! It was plain scary man with kids crying, misbehaving and complaining. =0 So i had to coax, comfort and s-cream (x_x). Aww man and i thought i wouldnt need to shout and stuff which reminds me of my NCC days. Oh well...
All in all, it was quite a tiring affair but rewarding nevertheless. Every child is a gift from Above and every single one of them is gifted in different ways! Thank God for teachers, the imparters of knowledge and to be able to take part in the nurturing process of a child is truly a privilege! Mmm would i really be one next time?
p.s. haha i feel like i'm all over the place. prolly too tired and under the aftermath of migraine over the past few days.
Okay, my printer is out of ink and I have 9 schools (i'm super kiasu can.) to apply for teaching tomorrow. So i have to jot out a really really rough plan on my trip! Here goes....
1. Jump down from flat and walk to Mee Toh Primary
2. Greendale Primary (walk up from destination number 1)
3. Edgefield Primary (take LRT to Cove)
4. take 83
5. Compassvale Primary (alight on sight!)
6. Go to Compass Point
7. Check directory for Sengkang Primary.
8. Sengkang Primary
9. Go back to Compass Point
10. Check directory for Nan Chiau Primary
11. Nan Chiau Primary
12. Walk towards Blk 219, towards junction
13. Walk towards Blk 306
14. Arrive at Anchor Green Primary (HOPEFULLY!)
15. Find some way back to Compass Point.
16. Take 86 to Rivervale Primary
17. Rivervale Primary
18. Take 86
19. Alight after Jln Kayu, walk to Fernvale
20. Fernvale Primary (final destination)
hahahahahaha this is so exciting! It's like some kind of adventure (in collared long sleeves)!
This has been something on my mind for quite a while now. There is a difference being right about something and being true about something. We could give a moral upright answer to any question but can we say that we are true to them? We could live our lives to the very ink of the "dos and don'ts" but can we say that we are sincere about them?
I've always wanted to be right but i forgot all about being true. I guess that's why God nudged me with yet another one-liner,"quit being right and start being true". Now being true isn't just being genuine and sincere, it involves a lot of honesty and honesty is the mark of humbleness. Honesty before God and man.
I think we should be open and honest to God about whatever values or perspective we currently hold (yes. right or wrong. upright or not.), instead of shoving them under the carpet of our hearts and secretly peeking at them at times. Well, with that said, we will no longer have a facade on before God but be open before Him. Oh and that means open to change as well! =D
Ah. There's just so much to contemplate on for this topic!
Why am i so shallow in my knowledge of God? Why am i always only ankle-deep in the river of abundant life?
I guess it's because i am so easily satisfied.
I am satisfied. I put my tithe into the bag and my soul is appeased. "I've done my duty." Sure i've become a cheerful giver because i thought that my relationship with God is justified by that cash i put in.
I am satisfied. I have my random little conversations with God throughout the day and i thought i have communed with Him. Sure God loves these, but yet He desires so much more. Where's the adoration? Where are the silent moments as i kneel before God, beholding His glory? And where are the moments i seek His heart about how He really felt on things rather than going on and on about how i feel?
I am satisfied. I spend a few minutes each day on that Bible guide or commentary, thinking that my spirit has been fed. But never have i realize that i only took a nibble at that great feast God has laid out for me.
I am satisfied. I no longer judge the condition of my soul in His light but in the light of my accomplishments of "Christian duties".
Oh, while we are "satisfied", God is insulted and the enemy glad, because he had blindfolded us with COMPLACENCY.
I love one liners and God is awesome to always speak to and inspire me in this way.
"You are my Delight, in Thee I find my joy", mmm it's been a couple of days of deep thoughts on a weird yet awesome experience that God blessed me with. Shan't talk about what it is because it's rather private =p
Anyway, it was during my daily workout today and there was this surge of joy and peace that felt really awesome! And this one-liner came about and i was amen-ing to myself because it definitely spoke to my heart. It was a great reminder that God should be my real source of joy and i should not seek it in any other sources. Thank God!
Aha today's workout was funny rather than tiring. Tried out a new running route and i find it to be absolutely da best! It's a more deserted route surrounded by lotsa greenery. Muahaha so i got to sing and run at the same time! What a great way to train my lungs but it was in such a awful voice that probably only God would find delight in hahaha. So i went like:
Joy unspeakable that won't go away *pant* *pant*
And just enough *pant* strength *pant*
To live for today *pant* *pant*
So I never *pant* to worry
What tomorrow *pant* bring *pant*
'Cause my faith is on solid rock *pant*
I *pant* am counting on God! *pant* *pant* *pant*
lol running is no longer boring!
"For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead." James 2:26
It's been my earnest desire to go on a mission trip before my NS and there is one coming up and i'm trusting God that i'll be able to go. The trip's in August, with that said, it can only be by God's grace that my enlistment month be September. Yet again, with that said, i'll have to pass my NAPFA or my enlistment date would be in August thus making me unable to go for the mission trip.
Now this is gonna be yet another faith raising journey(and i absolutely love it). Just as the above verse said, faith without works is dead, i'm gonna start training like crazy for napfa to excercise my faith. The enlistment letter's not here yet but i'm really putting my hopes in God that i'd be able to go for the trip!!
A man's at point A.
Another man comes along and tells him that he has to be at point B.
So now that the man knows that he has to be at point B, he tries really hard to get there. He failed. He got lost. Soon, he's back at square one. He's back at point A, tired and weary.
Then another man comes along and tells him that, "Aww, it's okay to be at point A, dont feel so bad about it, be satisfied!"
Wow just what the man needs to hear right now. Convenient isn't it? He could remain at point A! Hmm but should he?
Well after some time, yet another man comes along and tells him that he should be at point B. "Now, someone once told me that. I tried but i cant get there. I guess I dont really know how to get there..."
"Come along with me, i'll show you the way and i'll walk with you"
Ha. I'm praying for the gift of illustration (not drawing!). I'm not sure if the story on top means anything to anyone but it's just something that crossed my mind when i reflected on something personal.
I'd give anything to be that third passer-by. Ahh only by the grace of God, only by the grace of God.
A thought just hit me (ouch!). What if i am given a chance to design "man"? It'd probably look like this:
Ha, God is just so awesome and creative that He could design us to have like ten fingers, hair and stuff. Lol thank God, i really cant imagine if we all look like this:
If it were really so, we wouldn't have been called "Man" but "Joke".
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.
Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.
See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
His dying crimson, like a robe,
Spreads o’er His body on the tree;
Then I am dead to all the globe,
And all the globe is dead to me.
Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
Ha it's funny why we humans have to compare every single thing in the world. So what am i? A good christian or a bad one? If i say that i'm a good christian just because i adhere to all the rules and regulations (or law) then it'd be a joke because then i'd be under law and not grace and no human can fulfill every single law as prescribed in the Bible. So i'd be living either in a lie or in serious trouble because i would be judged by the law.
So am i a bad one since i'm not a good one? Nope i'm not a bad one either, because if i were to call myself a bad christian it will be like throwing myself a pity party, with every single condemning spirit invited. (Much like inviting every single bully in your school to surround you and laugh, sneer and whatever at you.)
I would just like to be, simply, a Christian. (and i'm turning 2 end of this month! yay!) Aha sometimes i guess we just have to cut out the comparative terms and just focus on what it really means to be a christian. The definition of the word "christian" simply means this, "a follower of Christ". The peeps at Antioch were the first to be called that because of their pursuit for Christ and it's such a privilege for us to be called that too. And there's really no need to compare because we're not running this race against each other for the crown of life (oh my, imagine that. I dont think we even stand a chance against Paul and the ol'Saints gang.).
heh. And about following Christ, that'd be a devotional thought by itself and a post for another day.
Okay i'm being bogged down by work which leaves me with little time to blog. I'm one week late at posting my resolutions! This is my new year resolutions:
*empty list*
yea man that's right i dont really have a list of resolutions coz from my past years' experiences, they're just a bunch of stuff that i tried really hard to do with my own strength and phail terribly. So i shall give it a new name, resolutions-by-Gods'-grace.
1. Go on a mission trip.
Yeap, i've got only half a year till i get enlisted and i do pray that God would make a way for me to go to _______ for a mission trip.
2. Grow in my area of calling.
2008 was quite a discovery year and i do felt called to _______. From now till then, i'm sure God has lotsa pruning to do.
3. Love others like how Jesus does.
God is love and i'm not (yet). It's one big area that i really suck at. Gotta devote more of myself to others around me.
I think that's all. One really encouraging verse for me is this: "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
