Pride.

"Pride is the bane of God's work" -personal revelation

I guess this is really true and I think God is working on this part of my life now. I don't think i'm arrogant of any sort but recently God made me realize that I am prideful in some ways. Like once, one of my fellow senior CLT (Lydia) told me that i had pride and i didn't understand why. I guess pride comes in alot of ways. I was organising a camp and i was really exhausted and wanted to give up planning it because there's just so much trouble to go thru and the IC was a busy person and often asked me to do most of the stuff. Struggled with stress alot and i confided in her. She told me i have pride because even when i have so much work to do i still accepted to help. I was like huh? But i finally understood what it meant. It was all to maintain an image and impression.

Once i told a friend that i preached to a group of strangers and he told me that he felt shameful. Then i decided to not tell anyone at all because i was afraid that it would be like show-off to them. But sometimes it's really hard to keep all this to myself, you preached the Gospel and 3 souls accepted Christ, how can you not burst out with joy? I guess i really came under the deception of the enemy this time because i didn't tell this testimony out so that it will not become a pride. But it became one because i was holding this back to be humble. I didn't realise what a testimony could do until a friend explained to me just now and it sorta like a ending school bell to this part of lesson.

I guess i understand now, surely God always teaches us in some way or another. It's just if we have noticed His work or not. Same goes to my name Benedict (blessed). I can never call myself blessed until i sit down at the end of the day and think of what God did in my lives, the goodness and blessings. It is until then i come to realize that every single day is a blessing from God.